Chemo treatment days have come and gone. I have had 11 cycles so far, adding up to 11 IV Taxol, 5 IP cisplatin and 2 IP Taxol treatments. Most have been uneventful, with typically expected side effects, mostly muscle aches and nausea and vomiting and anemia. I have had 5 whole blood transfusions. I have 1 more scheduled cycle of 3 treatments. I am so close to being done that it makes each successive treatment harder to get through. Treatment days are very emotional lately. It's harder to wear the brave face.
I am grateful for having access to quality care. I am grateful for my oncologist. I am grateful that he truly cares and that he is driven by some higher purpose. He truly has healing hands. But these things don't make it any easier to be brave today. Some days it does, but not today.
I am grateful that I have met many OC sisters on the wonderful world wide web. They help me orient myself. They inspire me to be brave. We commiserate with each other's trevails. We understand each other in ways that those of you outside the OC club cannot fathom and I cannot explain. Today we lost another OC Warrior sister. That makes it really hard to be brave today.