Sunday, February 20, 2011

Notes from the Chemo Diary

   More notes to myself, written while admitted to the hospital under the influence of a giant cocktail of drugs. Sometimes I feel that these moments are the most clear.... 

  I feel weightless inside my body, tethered by the weight of my body. Maya Angelou wrote a line once about feeling like she was just occupying the space inside her clothes. I am relating to that right now. I am bouncing and bumping against myself, the shell of my outside self. I feel light but weighted down at the same time.

   That cat is back, scurrying along the floor by the outer edge of the wall. He's a black cat. He ran under the bed but I can't find him anywhere. I wish I could remember his name.

   My tears are big shiny bouncy balls of light that flutter down my cheeks, over my chest and onto the floor. Kersplash.

   Remember, chemo makes me emo. :)

2 comments:

  1. Even if chemo makes you emo, you are still supremo! I love your notes from the edge. They tell a story I would have never knew existed.

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