Crazy-Award-of-the-Day

     I am a crazy magnet. It's because I make eye contact with people, even strangers. And I smile when I make that eye contact. Normal people smile back, maybe say hello, and keep moving. Crazy people think they are invited to bond.

    Today I am thrifting, looking for unusual things for making jewelry. I found some marbles for jewelry, some great fabrics, a huge bag of crochet thread, and 2 vintage patterns in my size, all for about $25. I hit 3 thrift stores and 2 dollar stores. I was at the dollar store, thinking that I could find a bag of marbles with the toys. I didn't, but that's not the story. The story begins as I hear a gentleman talking rather loudly in the next aisle over. I think to myself, Oh no....get your stuff and leave before he makes it over to your aisle. Too late. He rounds the corner into my aisle.

     "I would love to find a shower curtain here."

     I am proud of myself for pretending not to hear him. I study the package of stencils in my hand.

     "I have a new shower curtain I got last week but I don't like it. It smells toxic. Its made in China."

     I reshelve the stencils and even straighten other items on the shelf. I look straight ahead.

     "I paid a lot for that shower curtain too. I paid $20.03 for it. When are we going to stop all this bullshit with China and manufacture our own goods? It's all because of the labor unions. Things are too expensive because American workers demand too much money. Except miners, we need a miner's union. What are we going to do?"

     I cave, make eye contact (big mistake) and say that I don't know.

     "Well, I do. I'm calling the FBI. I want them to check out this shower curtain. It's toxic. God knows what it's made of.....from China!"

    I am so sorry that I engaged this gentleman. I just want to leave. So I turn my back and walk the other way around the corner. What's in this aisle? Shower curtains! (no joke). I consider taking him a shower curtain but don't. He's still talking.

     "I guess she didn't like me."

     Now I feel guilty for walking away. Oh, the humanity!