Saturday, December 7, 2013

Power to the Sisters!

     So, I am standing in line waiting to pay my library fines today.  I notice that the clerk is wearing a chemo head wrap.  A beautiful wrap, but it's obviously a chemo turban.  I never wore a wig or turbans or head wraps.  I wore bandanas and hats.  I have a bandana to match any outfit.  I really like to wear the black one with little white skulls.  I have about a inch of hair now, but it's still obviously chemo hair. I wear my hair in the little-boy-summer-crew-cut style.  Tres chic.

     But I digress.  As I am standing in line, I am wondering if I should say anything to her about her wrap. Perhaps I could offer some encouragement.  "It gets better".  I realize she does not want to hear that.  She wants me to treat her as if she is not wearing a head wrap, even a beautiful head wrap.  I decide to just be pleasant, but not say anything.  Tres normal.

     Without warning, my eyes are hot and my chin quivers.  I am fighting back tears, afraid that I will break into an audible sob.  It's my turn to step to the counter, but I barely have control, let alone the ability to speak.  Tres cool.

     I clumsily take my wallet from my bag and coins fly everywhere.  At least I have a moment to collect myself as I stoop to gather my 35 cents, smashed pennies, and chinese fortunes.  I complete my transaction with my head down, pretending to count change, pick lint, whatever.  I look up at the last minute to say "thank you".  I only trust myself to a quick glance from the angle of my eye. We lock eyes for a split second. Just a moment, a molecule of a moment, a moment loaded with knowing, an exchange of solidarity, a moment of silent sisterhood.  I went to the car, then I sobbed, then I smiled.  I like to think that she did too.

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