I have probably said that before in my lifetime, but this time I really feel it. I am definitely not the first person in the universe to feel this way. Take a peek at my favorite songwriter/singer as he focuses in on that end-of-year weariness. He says it better than I can. May I present that barefoot bard, the tipsy gypsy himself, Todd Snider!
(Applause!)
I did get a chance to see Todd perform in 2011. I prayed for him NOT to do this song. Not because I didn't want to hear it, but because I didn't want my friends to see me sob. See, 2010 was a long year too. I was diagnosed in April 2010 with ovarian cancer and had undergone 4 surgeries and 6 months of chemo by the end of the year. I had been relieved of my ileostomy bag with a third bowel resection. I was close to achieving remission.
Even though I was still bald, I thought that I could see the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. But it was an oncoming train. 2011 brought me more chemo, more bloodwork, 12 or more hospital stays, more blood transfusions, gallons of tears. Then that oncoming train ran me over. My bowel burst into pieces and I was trapped at the hospital for 6 weeks. It took me months to walk again. I was at one of the darkest points of my life. Then I found Jesus. (Joking! Let's save that topic for another day.) Anyway....
I shared all this so you might be able to appreciate my journey through these past years. I stand here at the end of 2011 and simply wish to move on into my life. If 2012 is the end of the world, let it be the end of the world I have known and the birth of a new life. I stand here, finally, fully present in this moment. Let me nurture my body, my mind and my spirit. Let me nurture others who may be in need. Let my life not be in vain. This is my wish for the future.
And please welcome again, that charming outlaw storyteller, Todd Snider! He's alright.
Happy Birthday Country Joe!
Blasted ovca! Your road has been tough...might not nearly that bad, but tough, nevertheless.
ReplyDeleteMay Year 2012 be the year someone, somewhere, comes out with treatment that kills the cancer and not the patient.
Bless you! Happy New Year!
You have really been through the wringer and I am amazed with your perseverance and spirit. I pray that 2012 brings you simplicity, calm, joy and no pain. No more cancer!!!!!!!!!!! You have had your fill. Peace
ReplyDeleteYour positive attitude is infectious, which makes you an inspiration. Let's pray that 2012 will be a better year. I have a blog: www.outshineovariancancer.blogspot.com, where as a 3 year ovarian cancer survivor I hope my blog offers help and support to other women.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing about your ovarian cancer experiences. You are a special lady! God bless.
Karen
I stumbled on your blog this afternoon. We have a lot in common unfortunately. I'm a pharmacist with ovarian cancer. I was diagnosed with a stage IIIc stromal cancer August 2nd, 2011. I loved reading through your entries. You made me laugh for the first time in a long time. Thank you!
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