Now accepting all hat donations!

One of the most common side effects of chemotherapy is hairloss. It's not IF you lose you hair, but WHEN you lose your hair. This is usually about 14 days after your first treatment. I am at day 7. I know that I will be bald in about a week.

Since I first got the news that I had Stage 3 ovarian cancer, I have tried to maintain some amount of normalcy in my life. I have tried to prepare for treatment in order to minimize the impact on my normal life. I read all the information the nurses and volunteers give me. As a matter of fact, I usually read everything twice. I try to make healthy nutrient rich food choices in my diet, giving up many of my favorite things like coffee, beer & junk food. I learned all about my ostomy and the diet restrictions and the products needed to care for Oscar. Yes, I named my ostomy. Sometimes he is quite vocal and grouchy, and he is a slob. He doesn't clean up after himself at all. I learned all about my wound-vac machine and how to change the dressings for my slowly healing incision. I learned how to change the collection container filled with blood, serum and pus. I had a lot to learn, and quickly. I got a super short hair cut to prepare for the inevitable hair loss. I think all these things helped me to maintain my sense of control over what is happening to me. My sense of empowerment was bolstered by all these activities.

Now, about 12 weeks post-surgery, I have settled into the routine of being a cancer patient. My new diet and food choices are more habit now. I prepare most of my food and am looking forward to using the recipes from a new cookbook I bought today, "The Cancer-Fighting Kitchen". I have plenty of time to shop for groceries and cook because my doctor extended my disability leave until the end of the year. I have tamed Oscar. He usually behaves these days. Dr. Lim removed the wound-vac dressings and my incisions are sealed and healing more every day. I can pass for a normal person in public. I don't look sick or encumbered with medical equipment . You might think, "Yay, that sounds so good for my friend. You go girl!". But passing for normal denies my truth.

My truth will be revealed to all by my bald head. My sense of empowerment is wobbly. I need to redefine my sense of self. My dad has volunteered to clip my hair into a super stylish buzzcut. But this will force me into the bright daylight of the reality of having cancer. I am still skirting the shadowy sidelines, not yet wanting to be recognized as a cancer patient by passersby. So I am going to take the leap. I will take up my dad's offer and get a super stylish buzzcut before I wake up to clumps of hair on my pillow. A girl needs empowerment.