For the want of a button....

My work uniform is my White Pharmacist Coat. It takes a beating. I spill cough syrup. I dribble coffee. I drip pizza sauce. It has a permanent gray shadow from the ink of the prescription labels. My once pristine honorable White Pharmacist Coat has multiple ink scars. It has frayed cuffs but only on the bottom portion of the cuff that rubs on the counter for 10 hours a day. This probably describes every pharmacist's White Coat. My White Pharmacist Coat is special because it is always missing the middle button. I stand the exact height to where the middle button is level with the edge of the counter and it is only a matter of time before pop goes the button. My technicians and I scour the floor to find the escaped button and I put the button in a vial where I collect all the escaped buttons, countless in number after these 22 years in practice. Today I decided that I need the Buttoneer, that gadget sold on tv in the wee hours of the morning, to reattach my buttons. (Nobody should be subjected to the pharmacist's belly). I looked online to see where I can purchase a Buttoneer to restore the integrity of my White Pharmacist Coat. Amazon has everything! But for that price I think I will shop around.