Security?

I’m still navigating the obstacles that my relatively recent cancer diagnosis thrust up in front of me. I am learning that while my disease may have stolen who I WAS, it is forcing me to figure out who I will BECOME. I am still in chemo and feel oddly secure here. As long as I am actively fighting and treating and under the close eye of my medical team, I feel safe and cozy. I am incubating.  My oncologist mentioned that I might be able to go to 3 month checkups soon and I panicked. What will I do all on my own?!?!?


I hear that this is a common reaction. I will have to find a way to resume the responsibility for my own health and safety. I maintain a certain amount of control over my treatment these days. I nourish myself, exercise my body, placate my troubled mind, feed my spirit. I work this stuff around the framework of my weekly appointments. How will I function with the framework missing? If I don't have an appointment, what will get me off the couch? How do I introduce my new self to the world again? I am grateful that I have the time to mull these things over. I am sure that I will learn to navigate this obstacle as well as all the other unforeseen things in my path. I'll just roll with it.