Crazy-Award-of-the-Day

     I am a crazy magnet. It's because I make eye contact with people, even strangers. And I smile when I make that eye contact. Normal people smile back, maybe say hello, and keep moving. Crazy people think they are invited to bond.

    Today I am thrifting, looking for unusual things for making jewelry. I found some marbles for jewelry, some great fabrics, a huge bag of crochet thread, and 2 vintage patterns in my size, all for about $25. I hit 3 thrift stores and 2 dollar stores. I was at the dollar store, thinking that I could find a bag of marbles with the toys. I didn't, but that's not the story. The story begins as I hear a gentleman talking rather loudly in the next aisle over. I think to myself, Oh no....get your stuff and leave before he makes it over to your aisle. Too late. He rounds the corner into my aisle.

     "I would love to find a shower curtain here."

     I am proud of myself for pretending not to hear him. I study the package of stencils in my hand.

     "I have a new shower curtain I got last week but I don't like it. It smells toxic. Its made in China."

     I reshelve the stencils and even straighten other items on the shelf. I look straight ahead.

     "I paid a lot for that shower curtain too. I paid $20.03 for it. When are we going to stop all this bullshit with China and manufacture our own goods? It's all because of the labor unions. Things are too expensive because American workers demand too much money. Except miners, we need a miner's union. What are we going to do?"

     I cave, make eye contact (big mistake) and say that I don't know.

     "Well, I do. I'm calling the FBI. I want them to check out this shower curtain. It's toxic. God knows what it's made of.....from China!"

    I am so sorry that I engaged this gentleman. I just want to leave. So I turn my back and walk the other way around the corner. What's in this aisle? Shower curtains! (no joke). I consider taking him a shower curtain but don't. He's still talking.

     "I guess she didn't like me."

     Now I feel guilty for walking away. Oh, the humanity!

Level 12 Diabetes

A woman came to the counter today with a gallon on GatorAde fruit punch. She wanted to know if it was good for her diabetic husband to drink GatorAde all day. I scanned the ingredients...water, high fructose corn syrup, sucrose syrup. I say no, that doesn't sound good for a diabetic. She challenged me, "since I am the pharmacist".

Suzy Q:"He has gone from a level 4 diabetic in June to a level 12 diabetic now so he needs to drink electrolytes. What exactly are electrolytes anyway?'

Oh my, so many many things wrong with these questions. I know this discussion will end badly.

Me:"Has your husband been sick? Did your physician recommend electrolytes?"

Suzy Q: "Everybody needs electrolytes".

Kudos to the great marketing team of GatorAde, they have earned their salaries.

I quickly skim over the basic science and again ask her if her husband has been sick with the flu, vomiting, diarrhea?

Suzy Q: "He has level 12 Diabetes"

Me: "I'm not familiar with that terminology. What were his last few blood sugar levels?"

Suzy Q; "Oh, you don't know anything about diabetes?"

Sigh. Maybe she is a friend of The Channeler. Remember him? He told me that aliens whispered the cure for diabetes to him in his dreams. He has a huge volume of information to share with the world. Nobody can read it because it's written in the alien language but he's working on a translation and will bring it in when he is finished. Maybe he gave Suzy Q a copy of the translation. So I guess that I don't know anything about diabetes after all. And I'm still waiting for my copy.